My family raised me and my three siblings as Christians. My older brother left religion. I didn't really believe until 2017 then I left the religion in 2020.I joined several atheist communities online and it opened up my eyes. I learned about Christians and Christianity. I learned about me. I knew Christianity wasn't for me anymore. So I left. I stopped posting the same crap about Jesus and started being real. My writing changed some would argue a darker tone others like me would say I have become more blunt and honest in my writings. Perspective matters. The fact is I'm not the same person that I once was. High school Nyx is gone. College and older Nyx is here. Wiser Nyx is here.Let me rewind the clock. I used to struggle a lot with sadness. But recently I haven't been super sad like I used to be back in 2014. But if you're going through that recently in 2021 I encountered a song by P!nk called F**kin' Perfect. It's a great song I strongly suggest you listen to itWhen I was a. I wasn’t sure were the other one was. My head was pounding. And everything was still so damn hazy. God, this was terrible. He helped me over to the sink and held me while I sipped the water from the cold tap. It wasn’t really helping. I was so thirsty. And hot. God it was fucking hot. ‘I’m too warm,’ I slurred to this strange guy. Even as I said it, I was trying to undress myself, anything to cool me down. Why was I even telling him? For all I knew he could be a rapist! But I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t even know where I was. I could hear loud music and drunken chatter mixed in. But it all sounded like it was so far away. It was too damn warm!! I felt a hand on my head, His cooling touch was heaven. ‘Jesus Christ! You’re burning up. I thought you were just–fuck! What have you taken?’ Taken? What? Suddenly I was so tired. I wasn’t listening. I was moving again. He was moving me across the tiny bathroom again. The white and black tiles danced and moved for me, spinning and.
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